An Occasional Dumb Food Find: Dijonnaise

Dijonnaise, a Hellmann's product

A dumb food product, Hellmann’s Dijonnaise – But Hellmann’s Mayonnaise isn’t bad!

Many months ago, I made the mistake of titling a post Dumbest Food Product of the Monthwhich of course implied that I would deliver a post about a dumb food product every month.  That implied promise mostly reveals my lack of self-awareness, as I should have known from past promises broken that I wouldn’t be delivering on said monthly post.   A better title might have been  An Occasional Dumb Food Find – in the spirit of the election season, I’ll restrain myself from anything but vague promises.

My Dumb Food Find this time around is Hellmannn’s Dijonnaise.  In principal, there is nothing exactly wrong with the idea of Dijonnaise.  In fact, I like the combination of a good Dijon mustard with mayonnaise on a ham sandwich or burger.  It just is that pre-combining them at the factory saves very little time or money.

One might presume that by buying a combined product, you would save money, purchasing a single condiment instead of two.  But considering it statistically, if Dijonnaise is truly on target for taste, then among those people that like the Dijon-mayo condiment combo, a third or so of the target market will either want more Dijon or more mayo.   The bell curve for taste just breaks down that way.  If you are part of this outlying segment of the target market, you are either going to buy some Dijon mustard or mayonnaise along with your Dijonnaise just to get the taste right, negating any presumed savings.

“But Dijonnaise is a time-saver!” Or so the marketers would say.  While you might save a little time marrying your Dijon to your mayo, how much time would this actually save?  Seconds?  A minute or two a year?  And if you want a little more mustard, or a little more mayo, the minuscule time savings evaporates.

Find a good mustard; I like Sierra Nevada Stone Ground & Stout.  Find a good mayonnaise; Hellmann’s is pretty good.  Make your own Dijonnaise.  It will taste better, and you can experience the Zen joy of experimenting with your food.  If your feeling adventurous, make your own mayonnaise, to make it especially good.  Just skip the Dijonnaise.


About Chris van Hasselt

I eat, sleep, play guitar...but wait, there's more!
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2 Responses to An Occasional Dumb Food Find: Dijonnaise

  1. I enjoy getting a big glob of mayonnaise in one bite and then a big glob of mustard in the next. I like the inconsistency. It keeps my taste buds on edge.

  2. yourothermotherhere says:

    I like Miracle Whip. More tangy.

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